Have you ever felt that you have nothing to talk about with people after the in initial, "How're you doing and how're the kids".. questions? Do you golf and discover that after the first few holes, you're at a loss for words? What about those awkward pauses on first dates?
Conversing with others is a daily task that occurs in practically every human interaction and field of business. Weather you're a banker, a sales representative, an attorney, or an electrician, sooner or later you will need to converse with someone and it is incredibly helpful to explore the development of your listening skills.
These quick tips can help you become a better listener, a more personable colleague, and who knows, perhaps a better golfer too. For a more in-depth exploration of your ability to listen, therapy may be a great start. For now, listen up and read on.
Tip 1: Listen, Listen, Listen
We have two ears and only one mouth for a reason. Ask your colleague, client, or friend what’s going on, whether it be something that is wrong, that is exciting, that is new in their life, etc. and really listen to the answer. Let them vent their fears, frustrations and other important feelings while maintaining eye contact and showing that you’re interested in what they have to say. Resist the urge to give advice (unless it is warranted) and just let them get it out.
Tip 2: Keep The Focus On Them
Rather than delving into a related story of your own, keep the focus on them until they are completely finished. They will appreciate the focused attention, and this will help them feel genuinely cared for and understood.
Tip 3: Stay Present
Sometimes people appear that they are listening, but they’re really just waiting for their friend to stop talking so they can say whatever they’ve been mentally rehearsing while they’ve been pretending to listen. People can usually sense this, and it doesn’t feel good. Also, they tend to miss what’s being said because they’re not focused.
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